Season 2006 wrap...

I will not be lying when I say that the bleakness one experiences when a good thing comes to an end, in this case, in tempered with a healthy dose of relief and satisfaction that the League is actually over and went down bar any serious hang ups.

It was a great way to end a long season this past saturday with two epic finals and I look forward to a bumper season 2007 filled with the usual internal league-esque attributes. Do watch this space!

The games were hard fought contests to which thankfully I needn't dwell due to the lovely spate of media attention the League has been incurring of late. We've become like Paris Hilton's drinking habits and get more backpage exposure than other UCT internal leagues. I would send out a hearty pat on the back but Varisty newspaper won't remove it's hand...

I must say I was a little bleak that the B League didn't get as much newspaper noise as the A League which is a tad unfair since their final was slightly more entertaining. Nothing should be taken away from them although we might have to amend something to get them some print time.

My work is done here, [Ya lank, I have to plan next year] so just going to hand out some obligatory awards to cap off the season.

Champions 2006:
A-League - The Ucha cha Nadoes.
B-League - The Wildboys.

Wooden Spooners:
A - The 'please don't come back' Rochester Rhinos.
B - College House. (still unbeaten on the A field)

The Team Spirit Award:
A - Ubumbo
B - Shebeen Boys

Worst dressed Team:
A - Barbarians (I didn't know they made pastel grey. Should have stuck to colours)
B - The Turtles. (just look at your sleeve)

Drinking Team Award:
A - Cobras/Soco Thoco (sharing parties, sharing awards)
B - The Wildboys (only team this side of the wors curtain to drink pre-mix brandy and cola)

Hottest supporter base:

Management (by default)

See you on the clifton mile...

The Finals countdown...


The business end is over now ladies and gentlemen, it's all about glory. Here we go..

Wrap of the Semis…

The green mile was silent for much of last night. The teams warmed up in silence, lineouts were executed in silence, scrums were engaged in silence, tackles were no more audible than the thud of bone to muscle, the kickers lined up the balls in silence and bar the odd round of applause celebrating the awesomely planned balmy weather conditions the crowds were silent too…

The stillness that lay over the mile was like the foggy blanket that usually covers it in winter. The eerie calm must have emanated from the unusually high stakes that every passage of play had on it, but however unlike the relentless fog this stillness was intermittently punctuated by friggan loud raucous cheers and support from the massive turn out of spectators…

Every dropped ball, every yard lost, every tackle missed, every kick cooked meant one thing to sides last night, and that was the disappearance of a shot at higher glory. Every side made mistakes but some held on, to retain the passage into the final.

The games kicked off punctually at 20h00. Last night was not a night of frivolous excuses like usual, guys were there to play and play they did.

The two epic encounters at 8 were between the 2nd and 3rd placed sides in either league. They were always going to be the closer matched games, although the results proved they all were.

The Cobras after dominating the league in their inaugural season hosted the Barbarians in the first A league semi. The slap slap hiss purple cobras have been to the UCT RFC internal league what Isaia Toeava was to Graham Henry’s sleepless nights. Young, talented, enthusiastic and spirited the team has shown up many sides to claim the 2nd spot on the log but they were faced by the mighty Barbarians side that arrives and plays the way their names suggests.

The Baabaa’s outfit changes its line-up more often than Dick Muir on a Thursday and they brought in the big guns for the semi. Their early dominance proved successful and they scored an impressive try out wide through Adrian Rheeder although the whole team gets lauded for the result. 5 zip down the Cobras fought back when Brad Milne crossed over to make the large support base erupt with noise and the score 5-5.

The score remained 5-5 at full time and initiated the new ‘draw procedure’ that has been brought into align with IRB standards. They sides played a further 7 mins each way of extra time and although opportunities came, no tries did.

The sides then had to battle it out over a goal- kicking shoot out. Much sympathy should be extended to the crowd (and players and other brainless rugby I-think-I-know-it-alls) who criticised this options saying ‘this has no place in rugby’! Well you should familiarise yourself with the IRB procedures then buddies before July next year, and in future please remain your side of the wors curtain.

The shoot out was nail-biting with the Baabaas shanking the first 2 attempts but then hitting the next 3 whilst the Cobras missed the crucial 2nd, 4th and 5th attempts to lose 2-3. Sure it’s a tough way to end a season but it’s the lesser of two evils.

The first semi of the B-League was a much hyped up grudge match between the Pulse Panthers and the Shebeen Boys. Playing in the same colour strip is about the only thing these two sides share and the animosity off and on the field retarded the game from turning into a spectators dream. The pre-match antics of the Shebeen Boys with online taunts and a ‘flyers on campus’ attempt to build support raised the game from been one about rugby to one about off the ball scuffles.

Scuffle would be the correct word here because despite all the time spent away from the ball not one real punch was thrown. The game could have been decided over Tekken 3 since that’s how close any physical confrontations came.

The little rugby that was played was very tight. SB spent the entire first half in the opposition half of the field but failed to turn pressure, possession and territory into points. Actually on the stroke of halftime the Panthers managed to get just out of their half for the first time but conceded a penalty that the SB kicker nailed, despite fluffing an earlier one from right in front.

The second half saw much of the same antagonistic play from both sides; which was only broken by the only score of the match. SB were attempting the outside up-and-in rush defence (although I doubt they practiced it, let alone knew they were doing it) off a scrum in their own half. The outside backs went up quickly to close down the outside space but the insides backs didn’t close the seam and Panther flyhalf (and Tiger cult hero) Greg Bastard scythed through, showed pace (which must be new) and stormed up field to draw both the cover and the fullback in contact to release a sneaky offload that supporting fullback Bruce Johnson glided onto to finish in the corner. Greg the General then middled the conversion from the touchline amongst heckling SB support to take the lead to 7-3 and the man-of-the-match title.

SB had plenty of time and possession to strike back but were denied the success due to strong Panthers defence and the inexplicable insistence of trying to goal every penalty instead of keeping the pressure on. They took 5 shots at goal and only got 1.

The second B-League game was another close thriller but played in a much better spirit. Smuts pulled together another awesome effort but weren’t able to breach the Wildboys defence or prevent them scoring twice through Jonty Rhodes-Harrison and Mike Davies.

Wildboys always played the subsidiary role to the Panthers last year but have emphatically proven that this year was to be different. They topped the log and have really progressed into the later stages as a side that has the balance to kick ass in defence and offence. The final is set to be a cracker.

The second semi in the A league saw the minnows Soco Thoco up against the ‘can anyone stop them’ Nadoes. ST are the second new comers this year that have made the semis on their first attempt (like the Cobras) and refused to let the result reflect their underdog status.

Looking at full strength the Nadoes came out firing dominating all the phases of the game. It was one of those dam-bursting games where you expect floodgates any second but the ST wall held time and time again.

The big Nadoes pack had gained immensely from their week live scrumming against the Bulls and were in usual impressive form. They reversed the ST pack back into their 22 like a little red mini and out came hooker and party liaison Renzo Puccini careering toward the line, he was held up virtually over the line but Nadoes recycled fast enough to send the ball out wide for fullback Pietie Olivier to cross for another try this season.

However the score line didn’t advance from 5-0 up for the Nadoes and the second half lost much impetus when the game was forced into uncontested scrums. Besides some good interplay and some stellar line running from Nadoes Neil Quayle the Nadoes didn’t score again. Soco Thoco were awesome on defence putting in hit after hit after hit and despite the odd go wide effort never looked like putting together a score.

However the meagre result stands and begs the question whether the Nadoes can in fact be beaten and whether the Barbarians (or the side that arrives) can do it?

It has been a tough route getting to the finals but the four sides contesting the cup (read beer and cane) certainly deserve to be there!

Try of the week: Only 6 were scored so lets give it to all 6.
Kick of the week: Too many to call.
Miss of the week: Even more, to call
So lets do, Quotes of the week:

5.) “Sorry do you know if Nic Fenton-Wells playing here?” – Fat blonde girl to just about everyone.
4.) “That’s why you don’t go for polls in internal league you moron” – Panthers centre to forlorn SB kicker after missing the sitter.
3.) “God the cane is going to taste good after this” – Renzo after a leg drive.
2.) “Walk it off!!!” – Spectator to a player that had badly twisted his ankle
1.) “It was a try, it wasn’t given but it was a try!” – Unmentioned semi-final loser. (surely it has to be given to be a try?)

After the holidays, see you on the mile.

Finals 23rd September!!!!

Half finals, whole party...

Forget the bus been full, the train is now full...

Usually good things happen in threes but this is certainly not the case tomorrow evening, because we have 5 good things happening:

20h00 Cobras v Barbarians.
20h00 Panthers v Shebeen Boys.
21h00 Nadoes v Soco Thoco.
21h00 Wildboys v Smuts.

That's four right? Well try this out for number 5!

The kind people from the Opium Group through their famous party and event organiser Renzo have guestlisted ALL 8 semi-final teams at HQ for wednesday night!

So what does that mean for those rugger buggers that haven't ever left the Mont to travel via de waal to the 'other' side of the mountain? Well if you knew Renzo's reputation as a party organiser it is very simply this:

Loads of hot chicks, loads of cold beer, loads of good music!

So you're thinking apart from the load of hot chicks it is no different from where you usually drink? Well here is the kicker!


HQ on a wednesday is 'all you can drink cane night', you pay 20ZAR entrance and cane is FREE. (yes they do have cream soda) And since Renzo guestlisted all your ugly ass that makes it fully gratis... In addition to this it is the first night they have started such a promo, so they have generously allowed players to bring a date. (she only has to pay R10) Please make sure its a girl, and one that you won't be too bleak at if she comes right with another player. Seems fair.

Let the games begin.

Semi-Finals...


Please note the later starting times. See you on the mile!

Wrap Round 9:

Round 9 was like Lote Tuquiri and Internal League was Richie Macaw last night, the former turned the latter on its head. The difference however lies in the fact that the braided freak got an eleven week lay-off and the league only got 2.

As was built up preceding last night it was always going to be the fat lady before the sides were cut to the final four. In both leagues the 4th finalist wasn’t secured and there were plenty outsiders in with a chance. Those chances were laid on the mile last night and some teams stood up and took them whilst others couldn’t get a firm enough grip.

Bad luck to those that have been excluded. Have a sweet off-season (College have a good building year) and we will see you in 2007. Just to let you in on a secret. 2007 is a world cup year so things may become a little interesting!!!

The fact the green mile also had to host an under 20 club game last night meant the round was going to be a shambles from the start but the late (and non-) arrival of refs made it fairly chaotic. Thank fully the side involved were fairly relaxed about it and just want to play so sport so the delay wasn’t material in the end.

Every game last night besides the Nadoes Kopano game was to be played for more than the mootness of points difference. The carrot of making the semis gave extra impetus to the importance of each game. First up saw the Turtles aspiring to a 5 point victory against the Spanners to force themselves into 4th spot contention. They played some good rugby and scored 3 tries in the first half but were unable to secure the bonus in the second. They won 17-0. The Spanners weren’t perturbed by the score line and their new jersey strip was enough to keep them happy. Such would be the case for anyone I suppose who waited 9 weeks for their jerseys.

The first up game was set to be an epic tussle between Barbarians and Ubumbo, with Ubumbo looking to secure a valuable win to make the semis. Unfortunately the hype of the game turned into a damp squib as the game was marred with unnecessary violence and some hot headed play that is more appropriate in a cage fight than on the green mile. Both sides can be embarrassed that they brought that type of conduct to an establishment with a proud rugby history that is so averse to the type of play that is synonymous with the rest of the Western Cape’s rugby. Barbarians won 12-8. Funnily enough the ref was blamed but I didn’t see him throw one punch so the shame rest on either team.

The next game in the B League saw Smuts up against a resurgent College side and looking for a few points to secure a semi place. The mighty College side has been unbeaten on the B field so far this year and Smuts had their work cut out for them. Smuts defended well in the first half and didn’t allow College any points despite the heavily advantageous wind. In the second half College did the same to keep it tight but Smuts scored to cracking friggan tries in the space of 5 minutes to take the lead and the win. 13-5.

The next A League game saw Marquard up against Soco Thoco for the semi finals place. Marquard needed a 5 point win (ie: four tries) and couldn’t allow ST to stay within 7. Simple enough right? Get 5, don’t let them get 1. Unfortunately the academic acceptance streaming process amongst residences is no more apparent than at Internal League as Marquard fielded a host of u21A1’s players meaning an automatic docking of a log point and reducing the total they could claim to 4. They followed up this stroke of genius with a ‘lets do it for the semis’ war cry before running on. They loss 5 zip anyway, and still managed to blame the ref.

The final B league game was a pressure cooker with the Wildboys hosting the Shebeen Boys on the B field. I love alliteration. Both sides were through to the semis but a win would dictate who would play the easier game against Smuts. Playing with the wind in the first half SBs struggled to put enough phases together to breach the impressive WBs defence. However 2 WB were binned for a crunching tackle, despite the 2nd not been anywhere near it and now the SB were only faced with 13 defenders. I think the tackle was so big the ref decided it warranted a double punishment so sort a scapegoat. Harsh but fair. Bizarrely SB opted for a shot at goal out front which even more bizarrely hit the upfront. I wasn’t joking than upfront. It was more direct than a Carinus girl with a jug of beer in her. However the ref called a retake since a WB player moved. The second attempt was successful. Many would have questioned this decision but her boyfriend was sideline and looking fairly menacing and a lot like Wylie Human. Actually it was Wylie Human.

SB then scored an important try on the stroke of halftime but a stingy 8-0 lead was not enough in the wind. WB came back strongly with their full compliment and scored 2 good tries to take them into a 12-8 lead. Not so surprisingly they also took a shot at goal from a penalty that made the drunken Carinus girl look like a challenge it was so easy. He hit the cross bar. Penalties are boring in their own right but missing them is actually rather enjoyable as a spectator.

- Carinus girls: Drunk, easy and super keen for a semi....

The final A league game saw Nadoes fire up the old engine to put 45 point past Kopano. The game was a tad sluggish in places and the Kopano defence disrupted the play sufficiently to prevent an outright blow out but it wasn’t ever an even match. Kopano’s biggest highlight was certainly their vocal supporters. They have dropped the push up act (think they didn’t expect to score) and resorted to hilarious sideline commentary. Rather funny actually.

Team of the Week: The UCT RFC u20 Cubs. They dominated the C-field from 7pm and came back, into the wind, to beat an undoubtedly over-aged Primrose RFC team 20-15. By far the best game of the night. Wildboys get a close second and the case of beer.

Tries of the Week:
3.) College’s 16 man push over try was a beauty. Good forward play is hardly appreciated enough so to turn a backline more into a maul and roll it over with the whole team is a sight that would make Phil Kearns squeal like a pig. Chief Vass can definitely be credited with the score, since he is the only backline player that actually looks like a forward.
2.) Warren Kelly gets an award for the best try and best non-try of the night for his efforts fro Soco Thoco. He scored a cracker, then went over for another cracker and didn’t prove to the ref enough that he put it down. He claims it was.
1.) Shared between the two Smuts tries. They were actually fucking brilliant. Both expertly executed pieces of interplay with guys running on from depth and proving that skill is still a requirement to play rugby. Lovely!

Hit of the week:
Shebeen Boys were down 12-8, in the final minute, and searching in the Wildboys 22m for a gap in the defence to take the win. They produced a 4 on 2 out wide and spread the ball wide. With 2 mean outside him the ball carrier decided to draw the last man before floating the pass. I don’t think he will recall that because from out of nowhere Kenny Kirkby put in an absolute Samoan of a hit cutting the guy in half and forcing the knock on and final whistle. It was one of those silence hits, it was so hard the crowd felt it and didn’t have the wind the cheer.

So there we have it. Finals four now and then on to the Finals.

See you on the Mile….

The bell has rung...

The barmen have rung the bell and it's time for the last round, Kopano and gentlemen. [I hope you appreciate my sneaky pun with the use of Catherine from JAG instead of a picture of a bell. Well I'm bleak if you didn't cause because looking for the appropriate picture took a 'toll' on me...oh god I'm getting worse.]

Moving along, the bell has rung and I am afraid it is a death knell for most sides and they are going to have to pack up the boots until 2007. As promised here is a little mathematic breakdown of who is in contention for semis, along with the details for Round 9.

PLEASE NOTE THIS IS LANK IMPORTANT. There is a varsity game at 7pm on the C-field this wednesday so times have been shuffled to accomodate this. ALSO, the B League games are taking place on the B field and the A league games on the C field. Get that soldiers? Read the purple stuff...we're having a purple patch!

If you sitting there wondering that this makes as much sense as a 'do not touch' sign written in Braille I'll let you in on the reason. 2007 could see the home fields of the A and B league swopping so we thought we'd guinea pig it out now... Do enjoy!

The Chances:

A-League:

Contrary to populat perception Rochester do not have a chance of making the play-offs. Just thought I'd clear they up. In fact they have more chance of playing A league next year! Along with them, neither do Kopano. The Nadoes, Cobras and Barbarians are all guaranteed a semi spot. This leave Ubumbo (13), Soco Thoco (13) and Marquard (9) fighting out to see who can lose to the Nadoes in the semi. There log points are in brackets.

This gets more interesting when you hear that the Barbarians play Ubumbo and Marquard play Soco Thoco. So Marquard can make it if they beat Soco Thoco by more than 7 points (and don't leak four tries) and if Ubumbo lose. If Ubumbo and ST both get the same log points St will go through as they have amassed 3 bonus points this season...

B-League:

Panthers, Wildboys and Shebeen Boys are all already through. Wildboys have a game in hand so just one log point will give them the top spot and the 'easier' game. If not Panthers stay at the top and play the 4th side. Smuts is virtually assured a 4th spot but the Turtles can take it if: Smuts lose to College by more than 7, they score 4 tries and against the Spanners and make up an 11 point points difference against Smuts. Yes its complicated but they have more of a chance than Hidding, College and the Spanners...

Interestingly enough Smuts can also make 3rd spot if they win with 4 tries and the Shebeen Boys lose without a bonus to the Wildboys! Of course this means Wildboys will go 1 and face the Shebeen Boys again in the semis whilst Smuts will face the Panthers. This won't be good for Smuts after Panthers caned them earlier in the season.

Just for some clarity. If sides end on the same number of log points the leader will be decided by bonus points, then tries, then points difference, then season result! The rules regarding semi-finals, pertaining to the event of a draw have been brought in line with the IRB this year so look forward to an update on that next week.

See you on the Mile...

Wrap Round 8:

It has been a long 6 months of rugby that has only yielded eight rounds spent tossing the pigskin out on the Green Mile. For some sides last night they played their 7th and final game of the season, whilst other sides played their 6th with one remaining and then the rest also have that one remaining and then will have to determine their own destiny come the play-offs.


7 games of rugby over 6 months is hardly a recipe for player burn out but if you witness how hard these men throw themselves at the game each week you can understand why the pictures of internal league sides hanging on the dormitory walls of Tugwell girls are littered with tired, battered and bruised men.

I thought about not raising this next point because I don’t want to tempt fate but stuff it I am going. I would like to point out that not once yet this season has a round or game had to be rescheduled, cancelled or postponed to a later date. This is in stark contrast to the constant upsets we toiled with last season so must thank all those involved in allowing this.

Round 8 was pre-empted by nervous play-off jitters with sides doing the mental arithmetic to calculate their play-off chances. Obviously some sides struggled more than others as MAM102W was such a long time ago they have even changed its name. Lucky that Nadoes are top of the log because some of them last did first year math nearly a decade ago.

In the A-League, Round 8 saw the Cobras and the Barbarians cement their position next to the Nadoes in the semi-finals. The Cobras had a come-from-behind victory over an impressive Marquard outfit which they won 26-21. Had I paid closer attention to the game I would write a more detailed account of it but that would be blown out of the water by the Cobras’ website write up anyways so you can rather check it out at uctpurplecobras.blogspot.com. It’ll be like listening to Phil Kearns and Greg Clarke in the commentary box at Stadium Australia, one eyed but good for a laugh. The Baabaas’ beat off the challenge of Soco Thoco and the latter’s chance at securing a semi by a tight 12-0 margin.

The final game in the A-league was a wooden-spoon contest with the only two beaten (as in the opposite to unbeaten) sides left on the log. Fate wanted to force a draw but Kopano rose above it and convincingly beat Rochester 43-7. They actually showed that they were an unlucky good side this year and could have been far more competitive.


In the B-League Smuts forced themselves into play-off contention with a rousing 14-0 victory over the Shebeen Boys. Unbeaten before round 7 the Shebeen Boys have now lost 2 on the trot and face the still unbeaten joint log leaders the Wildboys next week in what looks to be a cracker. Smuts haven’t won a game since Round 2 and in their last 3 have drawn with Hidding, narrowly lost to Wildboys and being pumped by Panthers. However they just need 1 point next week to make the play-offs.

The Panthers had a rusty start to their game against a struggling Spanners side but turned it on in the end scoring 3 tries at the death to win 27-nil. That secures them a semi-final place and the top of the log although Wildboys have a game in hand. Maybe they will spend their three week break practicing goal kicking or just let their good looking once off fullback try slot a few?

The result of the last B League made many a hair on the back of little grey history proffessors’ necks stand on end. College won a game. I’m not lying. College won a game. The History department in Beattie was thrown into utter chaos with profs ordering strippers and beer kegs to mark such a monumental moment in history. Not since a try was 3 points has such an event occurred. College’s victory drought was longer than Dylan Rogers’ drought at Tiger but sadly for Drunkguy he is alone now. Actually College didn’t just win, the produced a clean and precise 19-0 victory over Hidding Hall with both tries coming from the Vass brothers.

A detailed analysis of play-off contention will be posted soon and we will talk to some experts, old hands and fans to try and predict what next week will bring.

Team of the Week: College House. Nothing else has to be said.

Tries of the Week: The Solo Week
(1) Quarmi Antwaan – the skinny Smuts winger definitely spends more time on the sprinting track than in the gym and it pays off. He scythed through the Shebeen Boys defence to score a cracking 55m try. There is no substitute for pace.
(2) Scotty Dyson – the perennial panthers try scorer took a flat ball from a lineout deep in his own half and covered the distance untouched to score under the sticks. Solo is the theme today and his effort reeked off it.
(3) Khotso Micha – the nuggety Kopano hooker wasn’t born with selflessness as a rugby quality but he certainly got the rest. He scored a try from 40m out where he seemed to get stopped every 5m but would still stay on his feet and heading for the line.
(4)* Since its solo week we have to make special mention of Kyle Dutton’s pseudo-girlfriend that came all the way out to the Green Mile on her OWN just to watch him play. Pity he didn’t play well enough to score.

Round 8 it is...


The penultimate round is underway this week and some sides have to take 5 points to even sniff a chance of play-off glory. Watch out for the big match up between Soco Thoco & the Barbarians and between Smuts & Shebeen Boys.

Rumour has it the Panthers have a guest star making a bench appearance tomorrow but no one can confirm it...

Wrap Round 7...


Rounds have been flying past us quicker than Christian Cullen on the outside channel of a drifting centre. Not even a Women’s Day hangover was going to prevent sides from upping the ante and forcing themselves into final four contention.

The knock out stages are just two rounds away, leaving some sides with only two or one game left before closeting the Copa’s for another season. For the sides that do make the final four they are in with some heavy challenges as the sides that have already cemented a place are looking mighty daunting to knock over.

In the A-League the Nadoes have sewn up the log like Sri Lanka did the Test Series. Ie: With emphatic purpose. They steamrolled a valiant Marquard side last night 40-17 to notch up their 6th scalp this season and to retain the Sobhar Shield for the second, of what could be many, weeks. The Cobras had to be a Nadoe notch last week but came back to winning ways in Round 7 with a sterling effort to beat Ubumbo 14-0. In the other game the Barbarians took on Rochester and were 69 for nought at the end of the days play, lucky for Rochester it wasn’t a five-day game.

Actually the Rhinos are getting rather devious in defeat, they are employing the Australian tactic of delaying kick off so as to shorten the game time and therefore the amount of time they have to spend watching the opponents take conversion. Pretty sneaky if you ask me. Jake White is looking into it...

Last nights events leave Ubumbo, the Barbarians and Soco Thoco all hovering around mid-table seeking to secure the remaining two play off spots. Ubumbo are certainly at the disadvantage of having 1, as opposed to the others having 2, games left but knowing the nature of the League anything can happen.


The B-League is similar to the A-League except 3 sides have pretty much sewn up the play off berths and only one is on auction to the general public. Wildboys recorded another victory, this time over Hidding winning 20-3, and stay unbeaten at the top of the table. The Panthers then fought out a hard victory to take the Sobhar Shield away from the Shebeen Boys and the second spot on the log.

The race for the remaining position is between Hidding Hall and Smuts although the Turtles put themselves in with an outside chance after their first career win last night against College in a 10-8 nail-biter. Spanners and College have less hope of a play off spot than Rochester do at a free case of beer at the Sobhar Bar, or at scraping together 15 guys for that matter but they’ll still turn out for a jol.

Team of the Week: The Turtles squeezed out their first victory and for that they deserve a case. The imbalance in regard to strength in the B League is worse than the Genie Coefficient of South Africa so to hand out a beating after 6 unsuccessful attempts is laudable. However beating College doesn’t deserve a case. However, swallowing your pride deep enough to run around a field for 60 minutes in a bright red jersey with the Ninja Turtle insignia on your skinny gun and a half shell on your back takes balls. Congrats…err… Turtles.

Try of the Week: There were long rang efforts, there were tight five push overs, there were solo magic tries and there were killer angle great support tries. However there was no ‘try’ better than the 6 Rochester team member who, for the second week in a row, tried their level best to stay in res. And they succeeded…

Hit of the Week: This is one for the record books. As stated last week this award is very rare but for the same person to get it in two consecutive weeks is borderline hot Carinus girl aka unheard of. The hit was executed by, you guessed it, Dan Watson on the hapless Cobra left wing who looks like a dark haired Peter Crouch. Ol Crouchy shepherded the big rig into touch and then fell on top of him in the mud, and for his troubles got a steroid fuelled rage hit to the nose. Not quite the sporting behaviour we expect on the green mile…

Round 7:

Isn't a little game of rugby a great way to spend women's day! We think so. That's why round 7 is tomorrow. The game times have been brough forward so we can get it all over sooner.


There are some heavy matches but none more so than the B League repeat of last years semi-finals. The Pulse Panthers beat of the Shebeen Boys twice last season during the perfect nadoe-esque season but so far this season they have already lost one, whereas the Shebeen Boys haven't. What a match up it should be! Plus the Shebeen Boys are the incumbent Sobhar Shield holders, and Pulse want to add another Cape Town club to their name. Look out for a cracker...

Wrap Round 6

Welcome back to the news site that is UCT RFC Internal League Rugby. What a ripper of a round after such a long lay-off. Who knew the powers that be that instituted varsity’s latest money-spinner Winter School would have such an impact on the happenings of Internal League.

Eight weeks of hard gym and no rugby outlet through which teams could vent their new found Floyd Landis testosterone meant that when sides hit the ground last night they hit it running…and passing and diving and tackling and some even flying…

A few sides had the foresight to organise mid-season friendly matches and tours to keep their rugby selves occupied. The Nadoes swept through Plett and Knysna like one would expect them too, Smuts thought about hitting Knysna but apparently there is a better and pinker time of year to do so, so they cancelled that, the Shebeen Boys had their normal practice matches against the Olympic Gentlemen’s Club first cricket XI and the Pulse Panthers went abroad to play in Spain. Panthers narrowly lost to the Bulls which is disappointing as no one like it when the Bulls win…

---------------------------------------Tours are always fun!

Moving back to last night's round, it was inevitable that it wouldn't be without some mishaps. Rochester arrived with their best 9 players and had to borrow a passer by so they could forfeit the points in style by playing 10s against Soco Thoco. ST are without a doubt the worst side to be forced to play the open style of 10s against and they racked up 65 points before the rotund ref had to call it early from sheer exhaustion.

The first B league game saw the Wildboys rack up 36 unanswered points against the Spanners attributing the victory to their new playing strip. Who knew Tiger Woods’ 4th round red colour mind games would have such an impact on worldwide sport although the WB might have taken it to far, from a distance it looked like Mao Tsedong’s red army was doing infantry drills on the C field.

The 7pm time slot was stacked with real viewing pleasure. The A league fixture between Kopano and Ubumbo was a titanic struggle and with 7minutes left the score line was still nil all. Kopano then dropped their Belson mobile into 6th gear and scored a cracking try in the corner that was unconverted giving them a tight 5-point advantage. It was then with their backs against the wall that Ubumbo resurged to gain important territorial advantage and sneaked one under the polls that was converted for the win in the final minute. I was going to use the phrase on the ‘stroke of full time’ but silly jokes like that can be deadly when the ref was as old as Doc Craven himself. Not only was ‘that’ era so far ago but he also seemed to want to enforce the ‘laws’ from that era.

The B league game was the one sided affair of the Pulse Panthers back to true form as they ran Smuts ragged for their four try win. Panthers played some rugby of the sparkling wine variety scoring some breath taking tries and showing that there is a place for a skilled, expansive game in SA. Smuts are no meek opposition so Panthers victory should send a severe play-off message to the other sides.


The final B league game of the night saw Hidding Hall and the Turtles grind out to a misfortunate 7 all draw. Hidding looked to have a handle on the game with a laudable first half and a good try but the Turtles showed some heavy mettle to get back into the game with gutsy forward play, good pressure and there own try. Incidentally that is the Turtle first non-loss of the season.

The big game of the night was always going to be the top of the table show down between the two remaining unbeaten sides in the A league, which was also the contest for the Sobhar Shield. Well they were both unbeaten until the Nadoes showed their superiority to comfortably beat the Purple Cobras 35-0. The score line does no justice to the Cobras loss as they kept in it everywhere else but on the scoreboard right up until the crusader-esque last 15min performance of the Nadoes. You can’t beat experience.

The score at half time should have been 0-0, except the Nadoes had magic in their line-up. The magic came in the form of the mercurial feet and brain of flyhalf Paddy Fitzgerald. He scored an amazing solo effort cutting through the defence like Dan Carter going through a green wall and then had the deftest of touches to reward a killer running angle for the blind side wing to score. Paddy 14 Cobras 0. Pressure and experience meant the Nadoes cruised the second half for another impressive victory.

There are only 3 Rounds left before the play offs and the fat lady has certainly not begun to sing, although she was present there last night. She came dressed in white to support her young Cobra (snake?) loose forward Nic Fenton-Wells.

See you on Women’s Day.

Team of the Week: The Nadoes were once again very impressive, Ubumbo had a come from behind buzzer victory but the award goes to the Spanish inquisitors, Pulse Panthers. It was nice seeing a solid team victory and not the usual solo efforts from a few individuals. Ciao.

Hit of the Week: This award isn’t as constant as say a Carinus girl, but like a Carinus girl when it appears everyones glad it wasn’t them. The receiver of the biggest hit and the accompanying award was big Ubumban winger Dan Watson. He had an impressive run up the nasty touchline of the B Field before getting stopped in his tracks by a monster hit from the lanky outside Kopano centre Rolo Louw. Just shows some things aren’t genetic.

Try of the Week: Slow ruck ball in the 22. Bad ball delivery. Off side rush defence. These usually contribute to going backward or a turnover. Not when Paddy Fitzgerald is your first five. Cobras I would like to introduce you to my left foot, this is my dummy, this is my right foot, this is my jink, this is my swerve, Mr 15 please meet my step and thank you very much I’ll convert it too. If only Dave Mallet was watching…

The Second Half Begins...

Here are the updates and official fixtures for the remainder of the season. Hopefully they will not have to be amended but that is beyond our control. Round 6 is this week with the fixtures posted in the post below and here are the times for Rounds 7, 8 and 9.

Please note the usual times in Round 7 and 9. Round 7 is a public holiday and games are starting at 16h00 and in Round 9 there is a League fixture on the B field at 19h00, hence the reshuffle.




The semi-finals will take place on the 6th September and the finals on saturday the 23rd of Septmeber.

Holiday Break...

Everyone loves a break from having to go to lectures, do tutorials and attend those stupid class work groups some courses impose on us but you have to admit you miss the big things on campus. The big things? None other than, chicken burgers, thursdays at tiger, that little blonde girl with the recklessly low skirt on jammie stairs and of course... Internal League rugby...

If you were looking for a sporting substitute in the June home test matches, crumbs you must be disappointed but then again you should have been watching the All Blacks instead anyway. At least we have the Bledisloe Cup to look forward to and things like this from Germany 2006...

As you should know the next round (round 6) kicks off on the 2nd August:


And the rest of the season looks like this:

See you up on the Mile!

Wrap: Round 5.

Halftime it is ladies and gentlemen! We are officially past halfway through the league with all sides having played 4 games out of 7. The logs finally have some structure as you can compare the teams on an equal playing field.

Round 5 was always going to have a big impact on certain sides when it comes to the business part of the league so teams had to group together and pull something out the bag, and they did. Unfortunately Spanners and College grouped together at the wrong time and missed the 6pm kick off so forfeited the game. One can only conclude that it was either a sneaky way to avoid a loss or Kopano’s no show tactics last week has filtered down to the C-field…

The A-League kicked off with an absolute steamer of a game with the Barbarians coming from 12 duck down to even the score against Nadoes with the minutes dying quicker than Internal League support during exams. Nadoes kept their nerve, forced the penalty and kicked to win a heavily ‘fought’ fixture. Barbarians will take nothing from the game but other sides will, as it seems; the Nadoes may not be as invincible as they seem.

The next game was even more immense is nature as it was the local lower campus derby. Usually Marquard and Kopano boys fight for the affection of Baxter girls but this year it would seem the Clarendon guys (and the odd Tugwell girl) have won that battle leaving the men to fight it out on the Green Mile. Kopano have been a shadow of their traditional selves this year and their injury-hampered side took a beating at the hands of a far superior Marquard team.

----------------------------Baxter girls: Who wouldn't want to compete...

In the last game of the night Soco Thoco beat off the ardent Ubumbo spears out scoring them 3 tries to 1. The harry-casual approach of the Soco Thoco’s proved effective this week and their numerous attacking forays from behind their own goal line made the game highly entertaining. Ubumbo had a spirited 2nd half but could only manage the 1 try despite many opportunities.

In the B-League both unbeaten sides carried on true to form and notched up another victory each. The Wildboys subdued an obviously exam distracted Smuts side 14-5, and then Shebeen Boys managed a tight victory against an unlucky Turtles side. Still winless this year the Turtles haven’t been as bad as results would lead you to believe and have been very competitive in every game they’ve played. For the Shebeen Boys Tim Vann, for a 2nd time this season, scored all their points.


We break now for exams and then a very long holiday and no games will be played in June or July. However the first Wednesday night of August is the first week back at varsity and the date of Round 6. Each side has only 3 more games to get into the play-offs. Take care!

Team of the Week: Baabaas proved the impossible isn’t. Nadoes showed class and experience. Marquard won a derby. Soco Thoco were good. Ubumbo play rugby that is awesome to watch. Shebeen boys are still unbeaten, as are the Wildboys but…this week, none of them get it. Team of the Week Round 5 goes to Rochester, cause it’s the first time they haven’t lost…

Tries of the week:
3.) The ref awarded a scrum to the Turtles despite their fullback knocking it on into touch. The Shebeen Boys forced the tight head, and on the reset it wheeled blindside. Tim Vann knocked it on at the base, picked it up and sniped over blindside ala Peter Stringer Heineken Cup Final for the only try of the game. It gets a mention just cause the comedy of errors in the build up shows what a funny game it is we love.

2.) As the Nadoes stamped their early up dominance over the Barbarians young fullback (only Nadoe who is still u23) Pietie Olivier, made a clean break out of his half and cantered through the heavy quagmire of the nearside B-field touchline before breaking two tackles and stepping another to dot down under the sticks. Pure class.

1.) There were many classy tries this round but this one was a cut above the rest. A coast-to-coast effort from Soco Thoco. Fullback Thando Jacobs broke from behind his own tryline, gave the big stop and go and was away, he hoisted a kick down the right field that was collected and fed inside to Warren ‘Oupa’ Kelly that had come off his left wing. Oupa then beat defenders like Ronaldinho in the midfield and cruised over to complete the try. It was sensational. What was more impressive was the pace Oupa then showed to get his lighter from the change rooms so he could have a stuyvie break.

Round 5: 31 May 2006


This wednesday heralds the last round for this semester with Round 5 taking place on the 31st of May. I don't want to tempt fate and build it up too much, like say a Super 14 semi-final and then end up watching something like White Squall but there are some big match ups so its going to be a cracker.


See you there!

Wrap: Round 4…

It’s pretty impressive to think that nearly half of the round matches have already been completed and we are that much closer to the play-offs. After a week lay off big fireworks were expected to get the League up and running again and they certainly came.

In the A League Marquard ran in 4 tries to beat the Rochester Rhinos 24 – 0. Usually the winning side gets lauded but this week the hapless Rhinos get a consolatory pat on the back for only leaking 4 tries and actually coming very close to scoring one themselves. Rochester has been pretty dismal so far but what you can’t take away from them is the fact that they even arrive, which is more than we can say about Kopano. Both residences have the same amount of beds but we know Kopano has more boys (more boys than beds probably) so it is a shame they can’t produce 15 guys to come play some rugby on a Wednesday night. Barbarians walked away with 4 point without getting dirty.

In the B League, the Panthers back to their winning ways trounced College House 17-0 but were unable to secure the bonus point. They do seem to be over their earlier midseason upset and back to full form. Hidding then forced a come from behind draw when flyhalf and captain James White crossed for a late game try under the polls to end it 7 all against Smuts. Hidding were upset at having to come away with the ‘kissing your sister’ feeling although the Smuts guys were content in that any action is good action. The draw does open up the B-League log though.


In the two key matches, Shebeen Boys managed to lay claim to the Sobhar Shield for a 3rd successive week by convincingly beating the Spanners. They do look like parting with their prize very easily. The A-league Shield game was epic with the Cobras taking it in a come from behind win at the death. It was an incredible game of rugby and awesome to watch. Neither side baulked at any opportunity to run the ball and the entire game was played at a frenetic pace. The challengers Soco Thocos looked too good in the early stages but never managed to get out of distance on the scoreboard. Their first try was a touch of magic from captain Dale Owen but didn’t silence the hissing Cobra crowd long as they mounted their comeback. With the score against them at 10-5 the Cobras forced a tighthead on the 5m directly under the Soco Thocos poles and underrated flanker Dougal MacDonald crossed for the winner.

It was an awesome round of rugby marred only by Kopano’s failure to produce a side. The rest of the season is set to be a cracker.

Team of the Week: It’s a tricky one this week as it was hard to separate the teams so through default it will have to go to Marquard Lions after a valiant 4 try victory...

Try of the Week: The first try by Soco Thocos, it came from counter attack and Dale Owen’s stop go, step and weave before the perfectly weighted kick for the scorer to dive on was priceless. You can’t coach that.