The Final Wrap.

“There has to be a loser, and the important thing in this setup is to be able to play good clean rugby with mates and enjoy it…”

Walking the Green Mile!

The man who smsed me these words is a man that falls into the wise campaigner category. He has seen it all, played it all, experienced it all and more than qualified to make those profound statements that cut straight to the truth and that are void of clichés.

The Finals Round last night was the finale to an exceptionally long season of rugby and we can be proud to say that the spirit and the vibe on the Green Mile last night is testament to the notion that the values that underpin fair contest and sportsmanship are a running strong in our Internal League rugby.

The Green Mile was a hive of rugby and social activity last night with the on field antics a very appreciable spectacle for the off field masses. On occasion the poor guy in the stand had to do is utmost to concentrate on the game as opposed to on a pom-pom armed Wadda angel but either way he got his monies worth for the ticket price.

The revamped format for 2007 saw all 16 teams playing 9 games amassing a record 72 fixtures through the season. This is more rugby than has ever been hosted on the Green Mile and a very subjective opinion maintains that it was probably the best level of rugby ever.

Last night was no different and although many sides were feeling the affects of a long season or weren’t playing in the final that they would have aimed to play in they still came out with equal gusto as if it was the first game of the season.

The Wooden Spoon Final saw the brave but now somewhat dejected Kopano side turn out for one last valiant effort to get that elusive W on the scorecard. Through sheer divine intervention the Spanners came to the party with a run on side and allowed Kopano the opportunity and even scored two tries themselves. Kopano winning 38-12.

The Spanners: Proffessionalism is overrated.

The Can Final turned out to be a test match spectacle as Smuts took on Ikhaya in a monumental game. Ikhaya certainly boast the biggest traveling off field entourage and their yelling supporters urged them to a last gasp buzzer try in the corner to win 8-7. Smuts led 7-3 for much of the game with captain Mike Vice having a storming game but unfortunately sans the support necessary to convert line-breaks into tries.

The Funnel Final is the most sort after plaque to add to the trophy cabinet and Clarendon took on College for the honours. Unfortunately the game soured with the ref handing out cards like the RWC citing commission was handing out week bans and they were deserved too. College won 12-5 but the College red card lock gets special mention for being the only prick on the Mile last night.

The Bowl Final has replaced the traditional minnow’s league title and has a reputation as being as hard fought and fiercely contested as any higher contest battle. The Shebeen Boys have been losing semi-finalists in the bottom 8 since we stopped playing with a leather ball and this year they reproduced their off field unity between the white lines. In a performance dictated by strong forward play and backline accuracy, Shebeen held out the Eastern Cape 2 Rios 19-10 in a typical final. An excellent result on all accounts.

The Mug Final is the equivalent to the top 8 spoon and the Turtles took on the Barbarians in an energetic game. Both sides were oh-so-close to higher honours but lost narrowly in the play offs to end up playing this game. It was an even contest that Barbarians came from behind to win 12-7.

The Plate Final was between Wildboys and Marqaurd and was a try thriller. Both sides play an offensive ball style of play and the result was a far cry from the blanket rugby (at any stage all 30 players would fit under a duvet) that internal league sometimes slips into. Wildboys were like Nigerian immigrants in Long street and ran everything with perennial attacking force Warren Oupa Kelly carving up defenders at will. The Wildboys won convincingly 29-5.

The 3^rd/4^th playoff saw Ubumbo and the Panthers return to meet each other after both coming so close in the hard lost semi finals only just a week before. The physicality of last weeks semis would crumble lesser men but both sides returned gracious losers to fight it out for 3^rd without shying away from the same body on the line effort from the previous games. It was a tight a fair that the ref managed to cock up by blowing the first half 10 minutes too early but Ubumbo came back from 0-5 at the half to win 12-10.

The Cup Final was a highly anticipated affair. Nadoes have a play off record that would make any Australian national team (bar the socceroos) nod and whistle in respect but the Cobras were definitely the form side so far this season. As with the 3^rd/4^th play off both sides tested in emotionally and physically draining semi-finals the week before and matching those performances would be tough.

In the opening 5 minutes Nadoes combined unbelievable luck, crazy skill and great vision to score two freak tries. Standing under your uprights 14-0 down only 5 minutes into a contest cannot be the warmest place in the world. What was going through the heads of the young side will remain a mystery but you can be certain you are glad it wasn’t you.

Cobras showed why they were playing in the final and came back strongly. They used the wind well to get good field placing but weren’t able to convert territory into scoreboard numbers. They recovered admirably to right the ship but were struggling to get momentum in the sails.

The 2^nd half was upon us like a prurient Carinus girl and both sides dead locked each other. The Nadoes defense closed up shop like the English batting side when they are 400 runs behind on the 5^th day of a test match and the Cobras were unable to score. A rare incursion into the Cobras half saw the Nadoes pick up a shot at goal that was successfully landed to give them a 17 point lead and one hand on the trophy.

The game was then marred by some senseless late charges from the Nadoes loose 3 that earned the one a yellow and then the ref showed consistency in binning the Cobras flank for a similar, albeit weaker, challenge.

The shut out effect of the Nadoes defense frustrated the Cobras attack. They made some excellent line breaks and half gaps but never from a field position they could convert into points and the Nadoes cover would then just shut it down. The Cobras were running out of time and started attacking with reckless abandon. Passes didn’t go to hand and they paid the price of all risk rugby as the Nadoes scored twice at the death to take it 27-0.

The night was over in a flash and the party began in earnest. It was the perfect end to a long season. Regardless of whether your side won or lost that is all forgotten once you’re huddled around a waist high pile of SAB products, singing raucous songs you wouldn’t repeat in front of your mom and holding the back of the jersey of the guy who may turn out to be the god-parent of your son.

Pain is weakness leaving the body, chicks dig scars, glory lasts as long as memories do, and good times can only be had in the present but best friends last forever…

The Green Mile is closed for renovations, so I’ll see you on the sandy Clifton mile…

The Finals...


The finals are far bigger than this picture. Please note starting times and field allocations.

Semi Final Wrap...

At 17h30 there was an eerie silence over the long Green Mile that separates UCT from the rest of the world, but within minutes this change to a cacophony of raucous sideline support, loud on field game talk and the pumping beats of the Sound Guy testing Bokjol Sokkie Treffers Ses on his newly erected sound stage...but focus mustn't be taken away from the games that separated the men from the boys...


The Semis lived up to the hype and expectation and the evening was the busiest one down on the Mile for the entire season. The vibe was tangible and the rugby entertaining...

Apart from the Spanners no-show the evening was one played in the true spirit of the league bar one or two minor incidents and generally, in fact overwhelmingly so, the night was one for what Varsity Internal League is all about. Sure, there will always be critics but those that have not found favour in the league and its new format are unsurprisingly the ones with a L ticked in the results column. Stop bitching and come back next year prepared...

Marquard v Turtles was a great spectacle of rugby. The young boys from lower campus came out playing a rugby brand that you usually wouldn't associate part timers with and it showed on the scoreboard. Their first try was champagne 7 pointer that wouldn't look out of place on a shelf of Dom Perignon. It start from a long down field Turtles kick. Marquard fullback Ed Scuur through a long ball infield to flyhalf William Nesi Ryder on the run. He stepped it up into the opposition half where quick ruck ball saw Marquard attacking up the left flank. Again involved, Scuur made a linebreak got the offload, the ball went from 13 to 11 who streaked away to send the ball back infield to charging GQ lock Brett Snjders who dotted down under the posts.

Marquard scored again but Turtles reiterated why they had got this far in the league with heavy defence and clawed back into the game when they scored a brilliant try straight after half time. Marquard resurged though and scored a further two tries, both again from William Nesi Ryder magic.

The 18h30 games entertained a back to form Easterns side handing it to the Clarendon Knights (22-0) and the Barbarians getting schooled by the Wildboys (19-5). The latter game was a match between two sides that had higher hopes that a semi final place but the result means the Wildboys will play Marquard for 5th place whilst the Barbarians must beat the Turtles for 7th.

At 19h30 the Shebeen Boys beat College House to advance into the Bowl final. The game was tighter than Os Du Randts jersey going into the half but Shebeen scored twice in the second to win 12-0. The other game was found in the Oxford Concise dictionary for Advanced Learners under "contest".

Con-test:, (kon-test') n. - 1. struggle between two rivals, namely the Nadoes and Panthers for higher glory. 2. Hard fought battle. The game was titanic. Both sides attacked and defended recklessly with the game flowing at a high pace for long passages of play. The Panthers have an impressive Internal League record but have never played out of the anachronistic B League structure. Here they stepped up and showed that top side monikers don't by default fall to the traditional A league sides as there are other sides that are more capable. Backline talisman Scott Dyson was again the trigger that shot the Panthers scoreboard to an impressive 10-3 lead late in the second half.

The Nadoes aren't 10 time world champions for nothing and they came back strongly having to show serious mettle to get the necessary field position from which to launch an assault on the Panthers goal line. Eventually they broke through to score under the poles. 10 all! Panthers had a last minute penalty attempt from far far out that definitely sent the Nadoes minds back to similar circumstances versus Ubumbo in the pool matches and even employed unnecessary sideline "gamemanship" (an Aussie term for puss like unsporting behaviour) in refusing to lend a kicking tee. The kick didn't have the legs and it went to extra time.

Extra time was uneventful. And as per the IRB rules in regard to perpetual deadlocks it went to the Kick out. The soccer-esque penalty kick out isn't the best way to decide an encounter but it is the only way the International Rugby Board has come up with so we do it. The fact remains, only one side can advance to the finals so it had to be decided. Nadoe supporters had a glum look of defeat on their faces when they were down 3-1 after 3 kicks after the two experienced kickers Myles Brown and Pietie Olivier pushed their efforts wide but the Panthers did the same in their last two attempts and it was 3 all after 5. Straight to sudden death and the Panthers missed their second shot. The relief in the cheers of the Nadoes family was resonance.


As if the crowds had not been treated to enough already then came the semi final that would cap the evening brilliantly. Ubumbo and Cobras drew 12-12 in the Pool stages and were amped to set the record straight. Unfortunately the long wait for the kick off was taxing on the teams and more so on Ubumbo in their new tight fit Reflex Nutrition sponsored white strip, (just a question: if we eat 'tomorrows nutrition today', what will we eat tomorrow?) as Cobras scored two important tries in the first 15 minutes.

Up 12-3 the Cobras were looking dangerous. The pinpoint accuracy of their kicking kept the heavy Ubumbo forwards stranded in their own 22m and the loss of inspirational captain and pressure relieving flyhalf Skud Mateza to concussion crippled Ubumbo. The Cobras prodded through a deft attacking kick the bounce right back into the hands of flying burly prop Craig Smith as he reached the goalline but a feat of super human strength from the Ubumban right winger lifted the massive prop clear off his feet and drove him back into the field of play. The trystopping effort sparked an Ubumbo resurgence.

Speedy fullback Khwezi finished a sick touchline effort to scored under the poles with a rocket man dive that would have impressed Joe Rokocoko to even it up 12-10 at halftime.

The second half was a repeat of the first with neither side yeilding an inch of territory or a minute of possession without a fight. The deadlock looked unbreakable with the Cobras holding on by 2 but not even remotely keen to play defensive rugby. They went wide with everything and their faultless skills allowed them to do it with purpose. Eventually their width gave them a linebreak far out wide that got moved back in to an unknown supporting runner who threw the crispest contact offload as two defenders merged onto him to put a runner away under the poles. 19-10.

Ubumbo didn't come to be beaten and came back to score an excellent try in the corner that couldn't be converted, but that was the ball game. 19-15.

The semi finals were without doubt the most closely contested semi finals that the league has ever witnessed and the most spectacular. All sides must be given full credit for a superb display of rugby and friendship.

The finals have been decided. Please keep an eye out for the details of those for next week.

See you on the Green Mile.

Semi Final Time...

Here we go for the 8th time, hand grenade pins and every line, throw them up and let the semis shine, going out of our fuckin mind...

Big wins in the pool matches are forgotten, who was England anyway! The odd loss and confusing draw also all means nothing. Everything means nothing now, except for the next 60 minutes that lays before each and every side on the Green Mile tonight.



It's semi final time, and if you're not first you are last...

"Reuters: Hot off the press- long serving player manager Jordan B Pam has been struck down with a nasty bout of flu (wadda some bird flu) at the 13th hour, leaving an odour of suspicion wafting through the Cobras Camp and it smells worse than the Ubumbo tight-five. His involvement will be limited to shouts from the touchline during this crunch semi-final, which now promises to deliver even more so amid this weeks backroom board meetings regarding the hostile take over bids from rival sponsorship companies.

A spokesperson for Panther Rugby, Mike Galatis, said yesterday that the proposed new deal would relieve financial burden of the hilton-michaelhouse based outfit. He further averred that the Panthers fiscal mismanagment has reduced the team to training in their 'steamy disco heels' after superclub Pulse closed down last year. Nonetheless their match up with a new look Nadoes outfit has to be dubbed a monster of a clash. Semi retired players and school teacher Graham Barrat quoted his Grade 4 textbook when he referred to the Panthers going down like lambs to the slaughter!"


Game of the Night: Ikhaya v Spanners

Ikhaya held Ireland to only a 4 point margin over the past week losing 14-10, which included a rousing push for the line in the dying minutes that even earned a TMO referral. Likewise the Spanners have been brave with a big loss to the All Blacks but a brilliant still to come performance against Romania. Both sides meet tonight on a playing field that is more leveled than a stoned first year Film and Media students after a bar brawl with a Wadda bouncer. Flat and fair...

Postponements:

So last night was a wash out and we still have two Wednesday nights of rugby to fit in. After much deliberation and consultation we have looked at all the options and settled on this:

19th September 2007: Semi Finals

See you on the Green Mile.

Semi Finals POSTPONED..!

Sorry to have to do this but mother nature is not playing the game. We really can't bitch at the deluge though as this is the first time it has rained like this on a Wednesday so I guess it was inevitable.


The fields are, much like a Baxter first year, unplayable...unless you're wearing gumboots, and we all know how average it is showering with a rain-jacket on. Okay I have now lost myself.

Bottom line: The Semis are postponed and the date will be confirmed asap!

Won't see you on the green nile...

Semi Finals...

Here are the fixtures for Wednesday night: 05/09/2007.


Now, like most Marquard boys after a bottle of crackling wondering around Graca, are at the Semi stage but raring to go. The teams are starting to gain meaningful momentum that was cut short by the long vac but are looking on top form and the games are getting more physical and better contested at every bounce of the ball.

Unfortunately however, history and form count for zero now as anything can happen in an hour to end World Cup dreams. Its the knock-outs and a side just has to be better for 60minutes to advance as winners.

The games to watch out for:

Barbarians v Wildboys: The old v the new. Wildboys have impressed beyond expectation this year whereas Barbarians couldn't match their achievements from last year. Both will be bleak at not making the winning semis so will want to prove something. It should be monumental.

Ubumbo v Cobras: They drew when it didn't count but now it does. It will be epic.

College v Shebeen: College have never been favourites going into a game, and probably aren't in this case either, but they are hardly underdogs. This gun fight is equal, making it a classic clash.

Kopano v Smuts: The game isn't as high up on the Internal League hierarchy as other games but it certainly doesn't count for less. The old res rivalry is strong and has a tradition that escapes any other match up on the dance card. Nadoes might have children, but Smuts has ivy. They're old school, and The Belsen Boys are their greatest rivals.

And a special note to all your girls and mainly boys, Ollie and Tim should be sideline again this week.

See you on the Green Mile...